


Sae's Story Next

by thekashiwagiway



Category: Peach Girl
Genre: Canon Continuation, Multi, tw: abuse, tw: referenced sexual assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekashiwagiway/pseuds/thekashiwagiway
Summary: [A continuation of Sae's Story, picking up from the end of volume 3]Sae Kashiwagi is nineteen years old, and she's decided to bite the bullet and drop out of high school! Will all this free time help her finally find "the one," or is she doomed to repeat her mistakes? Has "the one" been in front of her this whole time? Can she ever learn to accept her past? Or will she hit some more dogs!?(I'll add more tags as the story goes on).
Kudos: 1





	1. Something New

“I’m here to resign.”  


The hag in the office turned around with a scowl, clearly not expecting someone to bother her in the middle of first period.  


“Miss Kashiwagi?” She said incredulously, adjusting her glasses and laying papers on the desk in front of her. “What do you need?”  


“I literally just told you,” Sae snapped. She’d usually at least pretend to be respectful, but considering the situation, she saw no point. “I’m dropping out.”  


The woman tried not to smile but made no real effort to hide that fact from Sae; having dealt with her all year regarding her attendance, Sae almost regretted making the decision to drop out just to avoid giving this bitch a big head. Sae could read just how low of an opinion she had of her just by the look on her face.  


No one expected Sae to graduate high school—not even Sae herself. She showed up for a total of maybe five days at _most_ before the end of the first trimester. She took her exams at Kanji’s suggestion, she showed up to the occasional class at Momo’s (even if she’d leave by the next one). At the end of the day, though, Sae just didn’t care. Sitting in a classroom for seven hours solid was a major bummer, and all the looks she got from the dumb slunts in her class every time she walked in the door was _so_ middle school. Sae was, in so many words, totally over it.  


So, at the suggestion of no one other than herself, Sae decided to break her shackles, fill out all the paperwork, and get the hell out of high school once and for all. After signing a stack of papers, she practically skipped down the hall, outside, and, living out a scene in the movie that was her life, stopped at the front gates to jump in the air and click her heels.  


“Wahoo!” She yelled joyously, thrusting her fists in the air.  


“Uh, Sae?” A voice from behind her ventured. Sae turned.  


Kanji stood there, sweaty just from walking down the stairs from his classroom. His tragically ungroomed brows were upturned in a show of concern.  


“Did you follow me out?” Sae accused half-heartedly, way too happy to really give a damn.  


“I was just making sure you weren’t leaving again. You know, you only—.”  


“Yeah, yeah,” Sae shot him her award-winning fake smile. “I’ll be back in in a second, okay? I’m just getting some air.”  


He didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push further. With a meek “see you inside,” Kanji retreated into the school. The second the doors closed behind him, Sae booked it as fast as her legs could carry her.  


\+ + +  


“I’ve come bearing good news!” Sae announced. She sat herself on the hood of Kairi’s loan-ridden Mini Cooper, legs crossed and occasionally thumping the font of it with her heel. Changing out of her school uniform into her “College Girl Clothes” made Sae feel like a superhero—and it was the only thing adjacent to high school she knew she would miss.  


“Is the good news ‘get off my damn car?’” Kairi responded.  


“Guess again!”  


“It’s the middle of third period, Sae,” Momo nagged, maneuvering over to the passenger side. “You should try to make it back to school.”  


“But _that’s_ the good news, Momo.” Sae leaned backwards, holding herself up by her arms. “I don’t _have_ to go to school anymore.”  


“Congrats, get off my car,” Kairi tried to shoo Sae away by thwacking her on the cheek. Sae brushed him off.  


Momo, silent, stared at Sae, prompting her to offer more information. Sae, against her better assessment of Momo, decided to bite.  


“It just wasn’t working out, you know?” She started with a shrug. “School sucks, and I hate it. Let’s be honest with ourselves; there was no way I was going to graduate. So,”—Sae hopped off the hood of Kairi’s car— “I just nipped it in the bud and dropped out!”  


“You…” Momo repeated, the edges of her mouth twitching involuntarily. “You dropped out? You dropped out of high school? Are… Are you fucking crazy? Are you _stupid_? Sae! God, I… I can’t believe how short-sighted you are! Are you going to get your GED _at least_?”  


“Nah, I’m not really a school person, like I said. If I get my GED, that means the next step is college, and I’m really just not feeling it. This way, I can just hang out with you two! You know, I’m getting my cake _and_ eating it!”  


“The—! The GED isn’t _just_ to get into college, it’s… It’s proof you _could_ have graduated high school! I mean… Don’t you care about your career or getting a job or…?”  


“Sure, I do.” Sae crossed her arms with a self-aggrandizing smile. “But I’m planning on going into modeling, and I don’t need school for that.”  


“You won’t be young forever, so you can’t model forever. I mean, you have no connections whatsoever right now, and the modeling gig you _do_ have doesn’t pay much, but let’s say you’re successful. What about once you get older?”  


“I’ll just go into acting.”  


Momo spread her fingers out next to her face and clenched them into fists. “So. _So_ many actors go to college, you _idiot asshole._ ”  


“Yeah, well, that’s _my_ problem.” Sae gestured to herself. “Not _yours._ ” She pointed at Momo. “I mean, I thought you’d be _excited_ that I’m following my dreams and all that, but I guess I was wrong, and that you’re not a real friend.”  


“You have a damn sad life if dropping out of high school is your dream.”  


“My life _is_ sad, thank you very much. Anyway, where are we going? I call shotgun!”  


Sae yanked on the door handle futilely; Kairi’s car simply bounced with each pull. Ignoring Sae’s question, Momo stood still and hard, but the air around her softened.  


“I thought you were going to take this year to get better,” Momo said, genuine disappointment coloring her voice.  


Besides letting out a harsh exhale through her nose, Sae said nothing. She let go of the car door handle and stared down at her feet like a scolded puppy.  


“If you aren’t going to school,” Momo started again, pushing past Sae and getting in the car, “then you should just go home.”  


With a shaky start both on the car’s end and Kairi’s, the duo drove off, leaving Sae in the dust yet again. She watched in vain, resentment growing in tandem with her helplessness. Sae was _so_ focused on how stupid Momo was for trying to be her mother—as if Sae didn’t already have her own mother that’d nag the ever-loving shit out of her every time she stepped foot in her apartment!—that she almost didn’t notice her cell phone’s sporadic vibrating in her purse. After the phone stopped vibrating, it started again; Sae wasn’t in the mood to try to wait it out and picked up.  


“What do you want?” She answered impatiently.  


“Sae…” Kanji cooed from the other end, his tone of voice already dripping with condescension. “You didn’t come back when you said you would…”’  


“Okay, hypocrite: shouldn’t _you_ be in class? Instead you’re calling me up in the middle of the school day.”  


“It’s between third and fourth period, and I snuck outside for a second… Listen—.”  


“I’ve already gotten an earful from everyone and their dog, all right? Can you climb out of my ass and leave me alone for two god damn seconds?”  


Sae didn’t wait for a response; she snapped her phone closed and started walking.  


She missed when Kanji first showed up again and didn’t question what she did and said. Yeah, passive dudes got on her nerves like nothing else, but Sae didn’t need _another_ person getting on her case about her life decisions. At least Momo had boundaries and only tried to nag her; Kanji would act like he knew better than Sae did, like the innocent victim in front of everyone else, and then he’d essentially make passes at her when they were alone. Or, at least, he’d peep on her changing unless she bolted her shutters down.  


It wasn’t until Sae stopped walking that she realized how much her legs hurt. This place wasn’t close to the college at all—she could have taken a train and gotten there in ten minutes—and yet she walked all the way over there on muscle memory alone. She only had one significant memory from there, but she often found herself hanging around it during her first senior year of high school. Any structure that would have held a memory had been long demolished; the only things remaining were the metal structure of the arch, no longer brandishing the lit sign, and the physical location.  


It felt like everyone always went to that dumb amusement park on their days off a couple years ago, but apparently that wasn’t enough to keep it in operation. Now, the lot only contained the stalled construction of a dumb mini-mall—half finished structures, big machinery, bored-looking construction workers that were mostly just paid to drink canned coffee and chat with their coworkers. If Sae squinted hard enough, though, she could still see the Ferris wheel, hear the squealing of the metallic joints as it moved and the echo of her shouts bouncing off its support beams.  


Claws of bitter memories tore through the inside of her chest, but she felt her most free when she replayed them in her head with the most precise detail—details that she was certain had become skewed after the past couple of years. Like the look on his face when she slapped him; he couldn’t have really been smiling. It burned from the bottom of her stomach up to the backs of her eyes; she blinked, unable to shed tears to cool them.  


The already waning light of the sun suddenly went dark. A large figure loomed over Sae, casting a shadow across her. She could feel a familiar heat radiating off it, off of its wide shoulders and sense of superiority. Her heart skipped a beat. Then another. She turned, just a little too fast...  


“This is an active construction site, ma’am,” the man said in a husky voice. He seemed completely unphased by how unbelievably cute Sae knew she looked; just annoyed. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”  


“Right, right,” Sae said with a laugh, bowing just slightly. “I’m sorry! I’m a little lost, and I got distracted.”  


“Uh huh.”  


Irritated that this douche bag didn’t even offer to give her directions, Sae started walking towards the train station. She gripped the purse hanging off her shoulder like a lifeline. She felt so… Stupid. She _was_ so stupid. Who did she think that guy was at first, before she could see him? She could tell herself all she wanted that she didn’t think it was anyone in particular—that she didn’t _hope_ it was anyone in particular—but she knew she was just lying. And what was _really_ stupid was that she wasn’t even lying to anyone but herself.  


What a fucking idiot.  


\+ + +  


Dusk set comfortably by the time Sae reached her apartment complex. It leered over her mockingly as she stood at the bottom of the staircase. It was way too late for plausible deniability; no one with half a braincell would believe that Sae had been _at_ school or coming back _from_ school all this time. It’s not like her parents ever cared about her whereabouts—not until the past year or so. She would be gone for days at a time when she was dating Ryo, and they didn’t really care even after she ended up in the hospital. They only started keeping her on a tight leash after she got held back, and they didn’t do a very good job at it. Sae knew it they didn’t do it because they truly cared, just because they didn’t want it to reflect badly on them.  


With Masaki starting his own hair salon and Moe getting into a really good college, Sae didn’t really see a point in trying. They both started their adult lives before she even hit high school, and of course they never even attempted to visit unless it was a holiday, or they were asking for money. And she _still_ never compared to them. Sae knew full well—maybe _too_ well—that she was smart; Sae knew that if she applied herself, she could probably do whatever she wanted to. But she didn’t want to try, and she didn’t particularly want to do _anything_.  


Her mother always had it out for her, so it’s not like it would matter even if she did. Sae could read four grades above her own as a child, but apparently that made her “reclusive”, and her mother said that’s why she was so sickly. When Sae tried to be more outgoing, and Moe and her friends would start mocking her (they started throwing rocks at her once), her mother would accuse her of being “off-putting”. Her mother would never ask why Sae skipped class in middle school, why she would come home with bruises and trash in her hair.  


Sae could say she had a slightly better relationship with her father, but only because he stopped acknowledging her after age eleven. As a child, she was much more of a daddy’s girl, but she always would wonder if he just pitied her for being so different from the rest of the family. He would joke around with her, he gave her Sora for her ninth birthday; it was nice to be the favorite of one of her parents. It drove her mother crazy. Suddenly, her mother developed a dog allergy, and she gave Sora to Kanji. Her father started acting cold at that point and stopped speaking to her after finding out she hit the dog with a rock. He took that way personally for whatever reason.  


The metal railing of the staircase stung Sae’s hand with cold. Each step she took felt so incredibly loud that she had to be waking up everyone within a mile’s radius… Or even worse: Kanji. She tiptoed the rest of the way up the stairs and tried to as quickly as possible. Despite everything, she still paused outside of his door. She really wanted a pep talk, and even though most of Kanji’s characteristics were flaws, his best quality was his freakish ability to say exactly what Sae wanted to hear. She shook her head; it wasn’t worth the risk of him nagging her when she already had a whole night of getting an earful ahead of her.  


Sae continued down the walkway and stopped in front of her own door. Why did she think it was a good idea to feel sorry for herself _all day_? That’s the only thing she did! Sae had dug her own grave for _nothing_! Even ruminating on that and being angry about it was feeling sorry for herself, and she had much more pressing matters to worry about.  


The way she saw it, she had two courses of action. Plan A was hoping her parents were already in bed or not home, so she could just sneak in and sprint into her room. Plan B was going inside and just pretending like nothing happened, hoping her parents hadn’t heard the news and didn’t care what she was up to that kept her out so late.  


With a deep, hopeful breath, Sae inserted her key in the door and turned slowly. She opened the door, careful to do so slowly so it made as little noise as possible, and slid inside. The doorknob slipped from her hand, and the door shut far too loudly; Sae swore under her breath.  


“Welcome home, Sae,” Sae’s mother spat from the kitchen table. Sae’s father sat across from her.  


The hairs all over Sae’s body stood on end as she turned.  


“I’m home…” Sae called weakly—too little too late. She smiled, feeling beads of sweat form on her palms. “How was your day?”  


“How about you come sit down, and we’ll talk?”  


“I’d love to, but I’m beat.” Sae stretched her arm up and feigned a yawn. “I think I’m going to hit the hay and get up early to do my homework.”  


“Sit down, Sae,” her father barked.  


With a gulp, Sae removed her shoes and trudged to the table, taking her sweet time to do so. Her stomach churned with unease, but she knew it’d be worse if she hadn’t emotionally exhausted herself earlier. The squeal of the chair being pulled out made her inner-ears tremble. She breathed in, sat down, and breathed back out.  


“Do you understand,” Sae’s mother started again, “that we get a call from your school every time you don’t show up?”  


Sae made a noise signaling agreement. She grabbed the edge of her fingernail and tugged, ripping it down to the quick.  


“So, what could have possibly made you believe that _dropping out_ wouldn’t warrant any contact?”  


“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”  


“We have invested so much in your future, and you’ve just thrown it away. Again! You are the most ungrateful child that a mother could possibly have been cursed with! After _everything_! After I took care of you when you were sick, after giving up the last years of my youth to you? After still humoring you after you got yourself _pregnant_?”  


Sae took hold of another fingernail. “I didn’t…”  


“And how do you repay me—repay _us_?” Sae’s mother gestured to her father. “You spit in our faces. I don’t understand… What happened, Sae? How did you turn out like this? What did I do to deserve a child that treats me like this?”  


Anger, awoken from its nineteen-year hibernation, bubbled up in the deepest pits of Sae’s stomach. Never in her life had she felt the full-body rage that flowed through her veins. Her body began to tremble uncontrollably, and heat scorched the top half of her body. Sae, though, was not one to raise her voice nor lash out physically.  


“You know,” Sae mused deliberately, trying to keep her voice steady, “I think it’s funny how I’m so much younger that Masaki and Moe; they’re only a year apart, but I’m five years younger than Moe. And how neither of them were sickly as kids, but I was. And how the two of them look like the perfect mix between you and Dad, but _I_ look _nothing_ like Dad.”  


The expression on Sae’s mother’s face hardened and she sat so still that her chest barely rose and fell with her breaths. Her jaw tightened; the wrinkles around her eyes deepened. “What, exactly, are you accusing me of, little girl?”  


“It’s just… Maybe I’m such a shitty child because it’s karma for cheating on your husband twenty years ago. Ever think about that, Mom?”  


Sae’s mother got out of her chair before Sae finished speaking, and by the time Sae had finished her sentence, her mother had reached her chair. In one swift movement, she yanked Sae upwards by the roots of her hair, hard enough that Sae felt several follicles rip from her scalp. Sae stumbled out of her chair, and it clattered to the floor as she stood. Before Sae could so much as let out a yelp, the palm of her mother’s hand hit her face with a loud “pop”. Sae expected it to hurt more. When her mother released the grip she had on Sae’s hair, Sae fell to the floor.  


“Get _out_ ,” Sae’s mother hissed, the look on her face reflecting the rage still radiating off of Sae’s skin.  


Sae shot a helpless look at her father, but he pretended not to see her; he just simply picked that morning’s newspaper up off the table and began to skim. She knew he couldn’t ever be assed care, but _this_?  


Apparently annoyed that Sae tried to garner sympathy from him, her mother took another step towards her. Sae cowered for a split second—long enough to feel ashamed for doing so—before scrambling back onto her feet and out the front door.  


Luckily, Kanji must not have heard the scuffle, so the outside of her apartment complex (former apartment complex?) was completely empty. That was fine. She told herself it was fine. She didn’t want sympathy.  


She walked to the stairs and down to the ground before her legs gave out on the last step. Her breaths began coming quicker, in bursts, not long enough to get any air to her lungs. Following the pain in her chest, she started to try and gauge her breaths.  


The slap finally caught up to Sae as the cool nighttime air hit her cheek. With three fingers, she gingerly touched her soon-to-be bruise. It stung, but it didn’t really hurt. Getting her hair pulled hurt more than the slap—both in the moment and after.  


Her whole life, Sae knew that her mother wanted to do that. Her _whole life_! She could see it in her mother’s eyes with building resentment, as her mother would grab Sae by the shoulders and shake because she knew she didn’t have the right to do anything more. And the bitch couldn’t even hit right! It was so anticlimactic! Despite Sae’s trouble breathing, she started to laugh—rancorously, as if nothing funnier had ever happened. Sae’s mother finally hit her, and she couldn’t even hit as hard as _Momo_! With careful fingers, she wiped the tears from her eyes.  


After her laughter died down, it still took several minutes to catch her breath. Sae leaned on her knees with a smile. Finally, she’d shed the dumb weight that was her parents and their expectations and their latent and so badly hidden hatred for her. Life, maybe, was turning up.  


Then she realized she was homeless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you had the displeasure of reading my other rendition of this, 1. im sorry 2. youll notice there are some similar story beats but overall its pretty different. i relaly wanted to cut right to the meat this time around so hopeuflly there'll be less filler and the writing just. isnt bad. this chapters sort of heavy. itll lighten up before it gets dark again i promise. but anyway... saes story ended up being really important to me so i didnt want to drop the idea of a continuatin completely but i also wanted it to be... upto par, i guess. strap in, babes!


	2. New Roomies

She had no other options.  


Living with Kanji wouldn’t be a good idea; living so close to her parents now that their contempt for her had reached an all-time high would be a death wish. Plus, that would mean living in close quarters with that slobbery beast… And Sora, too.  


Sae chuckled at her own joke. The night was still young. She caught the six o’clock train and reached her destination just after dinnertime. So, Sae’s main obstacle was swallowing her pride which, despite her day, hadn’t wavered whatsoever. She stood outside the door as if willing it to open.  


The cold air clung to her clothes like static. She couldn’t wait anymore; pride be damned! Sae knocked, waited a fleeting moment, and knocked again.  


Like magic, the door opened. Light filtered outside, partially obscured by Momo’s figure in the doorway.  


“Oh,” Momo said in lieu of a greeting. “Come on in, I guess.”  


So, Sae walked in. “You aren’t surprised that I’m here?” she asked with a twinge of a smile.  


“You’re always showing up wherever I am.” Momo closed the door. “If I was surprised every time, my life would be a horror movie. I’m sorta glad you’re here, though…”  


“Yeah?”  


“Yeah. I… I’m sorry for nagging you earlier. It’s your life, and you can make your own decisions.”  


Sae grinned. “Well—.”  


“But I’m _always_ going to tell you if I think your decisions are stupid. I’ll just… Support you when you ignore me.”  


Sae stopped grinning. “Well, I have a good idea to make it up to me!” She grabbed Momo from behind by the upper-arms and stood on her tiptoes to rest her head on Momo’s shoulder. “Momo, you’re my best friend. Am I _your_ best friend?”  


Momo waited a moment before answering. “I can’t think of anyone else, so I guess.”  


“Well, you see,” Sae let go of Momo and took a step backwards so she could gesture dramatically, “after dropping out of high school, I thought I’d turn a new leaf in _all_ aspects of my life. So, I decided to move out of my parents’ place, and as my best friend, I think it’d be really cool for you to let me crash here for a while.”  


“God, Sae! You can’t keep taking advantage of the fact I’m your friend just because you lack the foresight to—”  


“Can you…?” Sae groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I got kicked out, Momo.”  


“Oh…”  


“I… I was trying to put a good face on it, okay? I don’t have anywhere else to go…”  


Momo paused before speaking again. “Was it because you dropped out…?”  


Sae hesitated. “That was part of it.”  


Before Sae could react, Momo stepped towards her and grabbed her face by the chin. She turned Sae’s head up slightly, eyeing the red welt forming on her cheek. Sae tried to stare Momo down, but Momo clearly wasn’t paying attention. Sae looked away.  


“I think I’m getting a pimple,” Sae grumbled.  


Momo let go of Sae, a slight crease in between her eyebrows. “Are you okay?”  


The pity in Momo’s voice made the hairs on Sae’s neck bristle. “I’m fine.”  


Momo waited before speaking again as if expecting Sae to continue. “You can stay as long as you need to.”  


“Really?” Sae beamed at Momo. “Oh, this is going to be awesome! I haven’t had a slumber party with a girl before!”  


“Then who have you…?”  


“I’m going to need to borrow clothes and stuff, too.” Sae walked over to Momo’s dresser, bumping the TV resting on top of it, and started to dig through it. “All my clothes and makeup and jewelry are back at home, and it’ll be at least a week before my mom decides to clean my room out.”  


“Can you stop… Uh… I can go get your stuff with you if you…”  


Sae pulled out a floral-patterned bra. “Are you in middle school? This doesn’t even have an underwire.”  


Snatching the bra out of Sae’s hand, Momo shoved it back in the drawer and slammed it shut.  


“Quit going through my shit! That’s not even my pajama drawer!”  


“Are we gonna share a bed?”  


“I have an extra futon in the closet that—.”  


“Oh, good!” Sae catapulted herself onto the bed, resting her hands behind her head on the pillow. “You have somewhere to sleep, then! You should put it next to the bed so we can whisper to each other all night.” She patted the space on the floor beside the matress, smiling coyly at Momo.  


Without a response, Momo opened the second drawer, pulled out some clothes, and tossed them at Sae.  


“Your place is all kindsa small,” Sae said, clutching the pajamas Momo threw at her against her chest. “It looked bigger when you first moved in.”  


Momo leaned her back against the dresser and crossed her arms. “That’s because there’s stuff in it now. Anyway, I’m a college student with a part-time job and the occasional help from my parents. The only thing I can afford’s a studio.”  


“Excuses, excuses.” Sae stood up and wandered over towards the bathroom. “I’m gonna change. Don’t you peek!”  


Momo made a noise to indicate she was at least half-listening. Sae slid the door closed behind her. The visage she saw in the mirror that stared back at her was that of a complete stranger. In Sae’s head, she pictured herself differently. The “Sae” in her head never lined up with the one that she saw in the mirror. She always looked too pasty, and her cheekbones were always wrong.  


Irritated by the discrepancies, Sae peeled off her clothes and threw Momo’s on. The hung off of her loosely; Sae always forgot how much taller Momo was. The fabric smelled musty—obviously, these weren’t Momo’s go-to pair of pajamas—but still a warm, flowery sweet; distinctly like Momo.  


Sae heard Momo’s muffled voice through the door. How long had she been talking? As Sae left the bathroom, she overheard Momo conclude her conversation.  


“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Momo said. “Bye.”  


“Who was that?” Sae asked, pursing her lips. Momo turned to her.  


“You didn’t tell Sarukan?”  


That meddling piece of… Sae groaned and rolled her eyes.  


“Why the hell _would_ I?”  


“He lives, like, two doors down from you! He _cares_ about you!”  


Sae crossed her arms across her chest. “Well, I didn’t ask him to care about me.”  


“That’s so… So… _Selfish_! He’s been worried sick!”  


“You’re right!” Sae started to make her way back over to the bed as she gesticulated wildly. “I’m _so_ sorry that after I got kicked out, I didn’t immediately go to Sarukan’s apartment to have him talk down to me so close to _where_ I got kicked out that my parents would overhear! I must be the devil!”  


“You could have at least—.”  


“It doesn’t matter!” Sae shouted. “I don’t owe him anything! I didn’t want his help! If you hate me so much that you’d rather I stay with _him_ , then I…!”  


“God, just…” Momo pinched the bridge of her nose. “Calm down. That’s not what I was saying.”  


“If I wanted his help,” Sae sat down on the edge of Momo’s bed. “I would’ve gone to _him_ instead of _you_.”  


Momo rubbed her chin, a light color appearing over her cheeks. “You could try to be more considerate, at least…”  


Sae laid down, crossing her legs. “Yeah, sure. I’ll keep that in mind.”  


Momo walked over to the bed, tapped Sae on the shoulder with the back of her hand following a quiet “scooch”, and laid beside Sae, crawling under the covers.  


“You don’t want the futon?” Sae asked, glancing sideways at Momo.  


“Nah,” Momo yawned, turning on her side to face Sae. “You said you wanted a sleepover, anyways.”  


Sae stared up at the ceiling, an uncomfortable heat sinking onto her. Cold affected Sae more intensely than she figured it affected others, but she stayed on top of the sheets. She felt every turn of Momo’s during the night, unable to do anything more than doze without the medication she left at her former home. As the sun rose and Momo started her process of waking up, Sae pretended to be asleep. She listened to Momo shuffle around, careful to be quiet for Sae’s sake. Once she heard Momo start brushing her teeth, Sae decided to take it upon herself to be awake. They made idle chitchat as they got ready—about the weather, about TV, about the color of Momo’s shirt (which Sae decided to match, not that she was paying attention).  


While Momo straightened her hair, Sae loitered in the bathroom. She turned the faucet on and off, looked through the drawers, anything to occupy herself. After several minutes, she figured she might as well get ready.  


“Hey, Momo, can I borrow some makeup?”  


Momo made a noise of agreement and pushed her makeup bag towards Sae.  


Sae dug through the bag and pulled out a compact. She flipped it open, paused, and flipped it back closed.  


“Momo, this isn’t my shade.”  


“No shit it isn’t your shade. Did you think I just kept your shade of foundation around?”  


“Okay, well, what do you think I’m going to do?”  


“Go out without makeup…?”  


“I can’t do _that_!”  


“Because of the bruise?”  


Sae paused before wailing, “I totally forgot about that! I just didn’t want to go out in public looking ugly!” She covered her face and moaned.  


“You look fine, Sae,” Momo said as she switched off the straightener. “If you just put on mascara and whatever, no one will notice.”  


The doorbell rang, the suddenness of it making Sae jump.  


“Oh!” Momo said. “That’s Okayasu!”  


Sae followed Momo out of the bathroom and pulled a pillow off the bed. She held it over her face as Momo opened the door.  


“Mornin’, babe!” Kairi greeted far too loudly. “You ready to…?” Silence. “Uh, who’s that?”  


“Sae,” Momo answered. “She’s hiding because she thinks she’s a monster without makeup.”  


“Aw, c’mon, Sae! I’m sure you look fine!”  


Slowly, Sae lowered the pillow from her face. She looked over at Momo and Kairi with a distinct frown, both of them standing in the entryway.  


Kairi’s eyes met Sae’s, and after a moment he screamed, lunging backwards. Face turning red, Sae dove under the blankets and moaned. Kairi started laughing.  


“God, Okayasu!” Momo scolded. “ _I’m_ the one who has to put up with her!”  


“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist! Come on, Sae! You look exactly the same as usual!”  


Sae had to move fast; she sprung out from under the covers, grabbed one of Momo’s awful trucker hats to tuck her hair up into, and threw on a pair of sunglasses. She put her hands on her hips triumphantly.  


“All right!” She called. “I’m ready to go!”  


“Yeah, whatever,” Kairi replied with a pity half-smile. “Didn’t cover that nasty-looking bruise, though.”  


Placing a hand over her cheek, Sae followed Kairi and Momo down to the car. They’d already gotten into the two front seats by the time she made it over, so she reluctantly climbed in the back. She closed the door behind her and hunched over.  


“So, no makeup, huh?” Kairi said over his shoulder, buckling his seatbelt. “That wasn’t very good planning on your part, Sae.”  


“She got kicked out,” Momo said.  


“Ah. Can’t say I’m surprised. I’m more surprised they still let you live there after the pregnancy thing.”  


“Okayasu,” Sae said, squinting at the reflection of Kairi’s eyes in the rearview mirror, “why are you talking to me like your parents love you?”  


“My parents love me, so…” Momo started. “I’m _also_ surprised they let you live there after the pregnancy thing.”  


“Shut up, Momo,” Sae pouted, crossing her arms.  


“Yeah, shut up Momo,” Kairi repeated.  


Momo and Kairi parted ways with Sae far too quickly for her liking; were they trying to get away from her? And all because she wasn’t wearing makeup? So much for “not looking any different”. Sae made her way to the courtyard, long before anyone started to set up for that month’s CC photoshoot. Scared to make herself visible by moving, Sae settled in and played _Snake_ on her phone for about two hours until hair and makeup arrived. Their chairs hit the ground, and Sae once again appeared—after discarding her hat and sunglasses.  


Feeling like herself again only felt better after a particularly good modeling session, especially one in which she expertly avoids her ex-beau and his… Girlfriend? Didn’t matter. The point was, Sae felt good. And she _deserved_ to feel good after how utterly crappy her life had been recently. The only thing that could improve her already wonderful mood? Rubbing it in her friends’ faces.  


“Not wearing that disguise anymore, eh?” Kairi commented as Sae walked up to the table.  


“Yeah, well,” Sae said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I got my makeup done before the shoot.”  


“So, that big stink you made this morning was over nothing,” Momo said, resting her chin on her hand.  


“I wasn’t going to bust up in here looking like I was homeless!”  


“You _are_ homeless.”  


“Living in that cardboard box you call an apartment? Might as well be.”  


“At least I’m paying rent and not mooching off of someone else.”  


“Living together must be a blast…” Kairi said.  


“We actually had a good time last night,” Sae replied.  


“Yeah… Why are we bickering?” Momo asked.  


Sae shrugged.  


“Sae!” A voice shouted from the left.  


Sae turned to see Kanji running with his bike which he abandoned as he approached the table. Stopping two feet away, he panted with his hands on his knees and sweat dripping down his face.  


“What’s up?” Sae greeted in monotone.  


“I was so worried… You weren’t home, and you haven’t been at school… I know Momo said you were fine, but I just…”  


“Oh, well, for your information, I’m not going to school anymore.”  


“Sae, you need to—.”  


“I dropped out. So, I _don’t_ need to.”  


“Whoa, what?” Kairi said with a laugh. “You seriously dropped out?”  


“I know that’s disappointing for you, Sarukan,” Sae sneered, “but I’m too strong-willed to keep doing something I hate just because I’m being pressured to.”  


“Hah!” Momo yelled more than laughed from across the table. Sae ignored her.  


“Uh… No,” Kanji said. “I’m happy for you, actually. Not everyone’s cut out for school. It’s nice that you know what’s best for you.”  


Sae scowled. “It’s not that I’m not ‘cut out’ for school, I just have better things to do. It’s not like I’m stupid.”  


“Well, whatever!” Kanji grinned. “It doesn’t matter since you’re gonna be my wife in a couple years anyway!”  


“I’d rather swallow a box of pins, thanks.”  


“Sorry,” Kairi interrupted, “but can we revisit the fact Sae said she’s too strong-willed to be pressured into anything? Because I’d like to start listing all our favorite ‘Sae gets pressured into something’ moments.”  


“Mine’s the pyramid scheme!” Momo chimed in.  


“Mine too!” Kairi replied, holding Momo’s hands in his. “What are the chances?”  


Momo giggled, giving Kairi that dumb self-assured grin he gets when he tells a joke that actually lands.  


“Oh, put a sock in it!” Sae barked, slamming her palm down on the table. “I wasn’t pressured into that! It’s just that I’ll do _anything_ for someone I love!”  


“I have a favorite ‘Sae will do anything for someone she loves’ moment, too!” Kairi said without missing a beat. “Remember when she tried to kill Misao with a hammer?”  


“What?” Momo and Kanji exclaimed simultaneously.  


“Did I not tell you about that?” Sae asked Momo. “I feel like I did…”  


“You _definitely_ did not!” Momo shouted. “You tried to _murder_ Misao?”  


“Yeah, yeah. I wanted to bash her head in.” Sae crossed her arms and stuck her nose up in the air. “I don’t regret it either. She was being a homewrecking pig-whore.”  


“Why?”  


“I just told you why. She was being a _homewrecking pig-whore_.”  


“It was something to do with Ryo,” Kairi answered for Sae. “I don’t remember what exactly.”  


“And I won’t tell you what it was, either,” Sae concluded.  


“Um,” Kanji started, scratching his jaw, “are we talking about… Nurse Misao?”  


Momo, Kairi, and Sae all held their breaths. They stared at Kanji, anxiety radiating off all three of them. They turned away from him and huddled together.  


“I forgot he was in high school!” Kairi whispered frantically. “At _our_ old high school!”  


“I forgot he was here at all!” Sae whispered in reply.  


“Maybe we should just explain it to him…”  


“We can’t ruin Sae for him!” Momo hissed. “Let him keep his innocence for just a little while longer!”  


“I just don’t want him to bug me about it, so I agree.” Sae stood up straight and turned back around. She cleared her throat. “None of your business.”  


Kanji shifted in place uncomfortably. “Nurse Misao’s never been anything but nice to _me_ …”  


“That’s just because she is—to reiterate once again—a _homewrecking pig-whore_! She’ll listen to you, she’ll be all nice to you, and she’ll try to steal you away from me! And if you have even an _ounce_ of respect for me,” Sae stepped forward and clenched the collar of Kanji’s shirt, “so help me god, you will _never_ speak to her _ever again_.”  


Kanji stared at Sae with wide, fearful eyes. She made the mistake of looking into them and saw her reflection in his dark irises. She looked like a wild animal. Sae let go of Kanjis’ shirt and tried to calm herself down.  


“Sae, I think you’re overreacting,” Momo said.  


Sae clenched her fists. “What the hell do _you_ know? That’s what she did to Ryo! That’s what she did to Toji!”  


“What? Toji?” Kairi echoed.  


“Speaking of which,” Sae continued, pointing a finger at Kanji, “just because you’re so much younger, don’t think she won’t go after you. That doesn’t matter to that slut.”  


A hand touched Sae’s shoulder; she jumped and spun around. Momo took a second to look understandably taken aback before resting a hand on Sae’s shoulder once again.  


“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” Sae yelled.  


“Sae,” Momo said gently, “I think you’re projecting. That’s not… That’s not really something Misao does. It _is_ something that someone _else_ in your life at the time did, though…”  


The gears in Sae’s head churned loudly and, in conjunction with the pure rage coursing through her veins, made it hard to think. “Jigoro?”  


“No, Sae…” Momo stopped. “I mean, yeah. Sort of? That’s not who I’m…” She sighed. “Look, let’s try to cool off, okay?”  


“Don’t you talk _down_ to me!”  


“I’m not!”  


Sae yanked herself away. “I want to go home.”  


“I’ll… Get the car warmed up!” Kairi said. “As long as it gets me outta this conversation!” He speed-walked towards the parking lot.  


Momo looked back at Kanji. “Hey, Sarukan. Did you want a ride home?”  


“No, that’s alright,” he answered with an uncomfortable smile. “I got my bike.”  


Deepening her frown, Sae grabbed Momo’s arm and took off towards the parking lot.  


“Ah! Uh, see you later!” Momo called behind them with a wave.  


\- - -  


The chatter drifting through the hallways grinded to a halt with the beginning of class. As the stragglers made their way outside of the bathroom, letting the door flap lazily behind them, Kanji slipped out of the stall he made his home for the past several minutes. He took a deep breath and exhaled; his breath fogged up the bathroom mirror, and he drew a silly face in the condensation before it dissipated.  


Kanji was never a bad kid—he didn’t think so, at least—so skipping class was relatively new to him. It was easier with Sae; she’d scoop him up in her wake and take him along with her, and he’d have so much fun with her that he wouldn’t even think about the fact he was skipping. It’s not like he was _really_ skipping, anyways. He was still at school, and he fully intended to go back to class after he got what he needed to taken care of. It would’ve just been way too hard to leave once class started.  


With a quick glance back and forth out into the hallway, just to double check that there was no one that’d reprimand him for cutting class, Kanji walked out of the bathroom and to the nurse’s office with an unexpected air of confidence.  


Upon entering the nurse’s office, though, that confidence vanished. He stood, frozen solid, in the doorway, waiting for Misao to notice him so he wouldn’t have to speak of his own volition. Misao kept her head down, writing fervently. The scratching of her pencil made Kanji jitter in place. After far too long, he cleared his throat.  


“Uh, Nurse Misao?” Kanji said, his voice cracking so much that he barely recognized that it came out of his mouth.  


The sound visibly startled Misao; the pencil she wrote with flew out of her hand and clattered somewhere behind her. She tried to locate it briefly before sighing and redirecting her gaze to Kanji.  


“Sawatari!” Misao greeted from her chair with an embarrassed chuckled. “You didn’t get hit by a car or anything again, right?”  


“No, no, I’m good,” Kanji replied with a bashful smile, rubbing the back of his head, tousling his already messy hair. “I have a headache… Do you mind if I sit here for a second?”  


“Not at all.”  


As Kanji sat on the cot closest to the door, Misao turned back around, picked out and grabbed another pencil, and continued writing. He shuffled uneasily; he kept glancing at the back of Misao’s head before looking back at his feet. The scratching of Misao’s pencil against paper nearly coincided with the ticking from the clock on the wall.  


“Uh, Nurse Misao…” Kanji offered after a minute or so. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”  


Misao turned her whole body to face Kanji this time, eyebrow cocked. She crossed her arms. “Depends on what you’re asking.”  


Kanji blushed and frantically waved his hands. “Not—It’s not anything inappropriate or weird! It’s just… Uh… Do you know Sae Kashiwagi?”  


Misao sighed. “Yes, I know her.”  


“Yeah… She mentioned that you did. She’s, uh… She’s been acting weird. I mean, we were childhood friends, right? And I moved away, and she’s totally different now. And—And that’s fine! She seems to uh… _Really_ dislike you… But I think you’re nice, so, I didn’t know if you knew anything about why she’s… Like that...”  


“She…” Misao shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “Kashiwagi was already thoroughly herself when I started to get to know her.”  


“That’s a nice way of putting it…” Kanji chuckled and scratched his chin. “Momo and Okayasu said the same thing. They won’t even tell me anything about before I showed up, though…”  


“It’s not really any of my business…”  


“I know… I’m just worried…”  


There was no guarantee that Misao would provide Kanji the answers he sought. He didn’t even know if Misao actually knew anything, but at the very least, he wanted to know why Sae hated her so much. He figured he had the best chance of appealing to her kind nature by giving her his signature puppy eyes.  


Misao hesitated before continuing. “Kashiwagi was mostly in my periphery until Tojigamori confessed to me that she had blackmailed him into breaking up with Adachi. When I confronted her about it, she just told me that I couldn’t prove anything. I don’t think I saw her again until I found out she was pursuing Okayasu—Okayasu Ryo, I mean—and I only found out the relationship wasn’t completely one-sided when—.”  


“Um,” Kanji interrupted. “My head’s spinning a little. Who are these people?”  


“I didn’t realize you were so out of the...” Misao cut herself off. Kanji watched Misao twist the pencil in her hands. “Right. Sorry. Tojigamori is another former student of mine. Adachi’s ex-boyfriend. Kashiwagi blackmailed him into dating her. Okayasu is a former college classmate of mine, and he’s also Kairi’s older brother. Obviously. They have the same last name.”  


“Okay…” Kanji rolled over Misao calling Kairi by his first name a couple of times in his head. It was probably for the distinction between him and his brother, but… It wasn’t important! That wasn’t why he was there! He moved on. “I think I’ve got it now. Continue.”  


“I found out she was pursuing Okayasu—Kashiwagi, I mean. And, and _Ryo_ Okayasu—but Adachi told me it was one-sided. So, when I confessed to Okayasu, I didn’t expect Kashiwagi to run in and accuse me of being a homewrecker.” Misao smiled bitterly and took a deep breath. “Okayasu hit her so hard he knocked her to the floor, and she hit her head on the hospital bed frame—Okayasu was in the hospital at the time because… Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. Anyway, I thought that was… _Really_ harsh, of course. I thought Kashiwagi just had a really big crush on him or something, though… Uh, Kashiwagi told Okayasu that she was pregnant in the middle of one of our dates, and when I asked him if he slept with her, and all he had to say was that it probably wasn’t his because Kashiwagi had a ‘wild lifestyle’ or something. Then Okayasu, um, he tried to get her to abort it, but she didn’t… In the end it was okay, I think. They broke up, obviously. I think Kashiwagi had a miscarriage, or the pregnancy was fake, or…” Misao clicked her pencil absentmindedly before setting it back on her desk. “I guess I don’t really know the details.”  


Kanji furrowed his brow, trying to parse all the information dumped on him. Blackmail? Pregnancy? Misao’s words swam around in his head like fish fighting over a piece of food. One thing at a time…  


“Did Sae try to, uh…” Kanji tried to choose his words carefully. “Attack you?”  


Misao stared unblinkingly at Kanji, caught off guard by the question. She let out one half-laugh. “Did Kairi tell you that?”  


“Sort of…”  


Misao didn’t elaborate.  


“Are you still with Okayasu’s brother?” Kanji asked.  


Misao laughed. “Oh, heavens no! He’s a total dick!” She covered her mouth. “Ack, sorry! Language!”  


“He’s your age, right?”  


“A year or two older, maybe.”  


And just like that, the puzzle pieces started to come together—the edges might as well have been completed, and all Kanji had to do was fill in the middle. A child predator wasn’t exactly on his list of things that could have happened to Sae to make her so… But a bad break-up _was_ —and this was the mother of all bad break-ups.  


“He’s a lot older than Sae, huh?” Kanji asked, trying to not so subtly prod more information out of Misao.  


“I guess…” Misao leaned backwards.  


“Did you… I don’t know. Did you try to, like… Get him to leave her alone?”  


“By the time I found out, Kashiwagi was trying to get him to take responsibility for the baby. It would’ve been counter-productive at that point…”  


“You knew she liked him before that, at least. And, I mean, you saw him hit her. I was just thinking…”  


“What would you have suggested I do?” Misao snapped. “Kashiwagi’s stubborn and has an awful attitude. She wouldn’t have accepted my help if I had offered it to her. I regret not doing more—I do—but I did what I could.”  


Kanji didn’t say anything, not knowing how to respond to this side of his school nurse.  


“Can I give you some advice, Sawatari?” Misao asked, not waiting for him to answer. “I think you’re a good student and a good kid in general. I can tell you are because of how much you care about your friend. But if I were you, I’d find a new one.”  


Kanji lowered his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”  


“I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue to be friends with Kashiwagi. You deserve better than that. She’ll drag you down with her.”  


“Would you say the same thing to Momo and Okayasu?”  


“If they asked, maybe. I know they’re far too stubborn to ask my advice, much less actually listen to it.”  


“I just don’t think it’s fair of you to say that when… After all you watched Sae go through, you still think she’s a bad person?”  


“Traumatic experiences don’t make you a good person. You have to decide to be one. I don’t think Kashiwagi’s made that decision yet, and I don’t know if she ever will.”  


“I—.”  


“You should get to class, Sawatari,” Misao said coldly, turning back to her desk. “You don’t want to end up a truant like your so-called friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is sort of a transition chapter also i wrote most of it in march and i was like i guess ill write a little bit just so i get something done uhhh see ya


End file.
